With us

Personal Photo: I snapped this photo of our beans while Clay was hoeing the next row for me to plant. The sunshine made them look so pretty. I think of all the little miracles around us, and how we can seek God out in some of the quietest places.

I flopped down on the grass with our little dog, Jersey, much less gracefully than I had anticipated. It was a sunny evening, and I squinted up to see Clay sneaking a glance at me to make sure I was alright, and that I was still holding onto the leash. We were tagging out, and it was his turn to work in the garden and cover the rows of beans that I had just planted. We had a pretty good rhythm going; He would hoe the row, I would plant the seeds, he would cover the seeds. I was grateful for his silent check-in, and once again appreciated our teamwork. I sat there in the sunshine, and while I waited for Clay to tag me in, I looked down at the seeds of beans in my bag and I took a deep breath.

This year has been a year of patience for me, and for a very good reason. Clay and I are starting a family! Already being two thirds of the way to meeting our little boy makes me slightly nervous, but I have been so blessed to be able to experience the journey of pregnancy, even with the ups and downs of emotions and physical turmoil. I find that I have been forced to take my time, limit myself, and depend on close loved ones as I navigate each day with a new perspective. The first trimester was consistently challenging for me physically, and my nausea seemed to worsen in the second trimester before leveling out. Now that I tend to be feeling better, I struggle with mobility, completely adjusting to the child that seems to be growing more and more rapidly. Each day it feels like I am adjusting to something else new, all while trying to maintain as much of my version of 'normal' these days as possible. I have been forced to learn to slow down and take my time with things that I usually can be very efficient at completing. And while this has been challenging for me, it has taught me much about the value of intentionality.

When I find myself needing to take a break and slow down, unable to do as much as I would like or do it as fast as I usually can, I sometimes feel as though I am not able to pull my weight. While loved ones and Clay have been incredible helpful in meeting me more than halfway, I struggle with accepting these limitations. I have found through my journey of patience that no one is really ever a master of it. It is a lesson designed to learned and learned again, in numerous chapters of our stories. As frustrating as it is to have to slow down and relearn how to practice patience, I have discovered that it is when the Lord often speaks to us the most. I am working on recognizing God's presence with me when I feel as though I can't keep up with myself, and I have begun to depend on intentionally seeking God out from moment to moment.

The truth is that God is the only person who walks every single step of every single second of our journeys with us. He is our closest friend, our most loyal companion, and the most trustworthy leader. We might often feel as though our experiences are not special or unique, or that we have been waiting a long time for something, but everything we do is something God is choosing to do with us, to teach us to be a special warrior for His kingdom, equipped with tools that no one else may have. Zephaniah 3:17 tells us that "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing." In this way we can recognize how incredible it is that God chose to be with us, and how much He must love us to devote so much time into developing us. We are nothing short of His masterpiece, and He is crafting us with every experience we go through. He sits with us when we need to take a break, He is patient with us when we are impatient, and He reminds us to slow down when we are trying to sprint. When we take initiative in each moment to seek Him out and be intentional with the life that we lead, we find that we can hear His voice, we can see more chances to glorify Him, and we can have more intimacy with Him.

Patience, in terms of our relationship with God, is another way of saying submission. When we submit ourselves to the will of God, and accept whatever that looks like in our life, we have the freeing sensation of peace. God takes care of us in every season of life, whether it is chaotic or slow. Sometimes we find ourselves slower in a season of chaos and itching to get going in a season of relaxation. Regardless, we must relearn patience when we find ourselves here. We are told in 1 Peter 5:6-7 to "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." The Lord tells us here that we are not just to give up, but to humble ourselves and our expectations so that we may spend that energy intentionally, and purposely seek out God every chance we get.

There are no such things as coincidences, not when it comes to the Lord. God tells us to slow down or pick it up based upon His almighty will. If we notice the change of pace and do not look for God's hand working in each minute of it, we might be obstinate, frustrated, or lonely. However, when we take a deep breath, turn our face towards the sunshine, and look for Him sitting next to us, we are reminded to "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." We are in the palm of His hand, and therefore we are never alone in our journeys. We have the chance to appreciate the breathers we need to take and why and see blessings we might have missed if we were too busy focused on other things.

Life throws us curveballs, harshly reminds us that everything is changing, and can create within us a sense of loneliness or frustration. When we feel this way, we have the ability to be intentional about how we spend those moments in between the progress we make, in the middle of turning the page, the times of relearning patience. Intentionally submitting to God's will, searching for His companionship, and recognizing the blessings He has purposely surrounded us with allows us to find peace. We have the chance to build a relationship with Him that is nothing short of incredible, and trust that He is choosing to be with us every moment of our day!