The closest friend

Personal Photo: I snapped this photo of the little bouquet of flowers that were ready to pick last month during one of the evening Clay was gone. I found the little details to bring me joy and was grateful that there were enough to pick to fill this vase for my mantle :)

I took a long, deep breath of the summertime air, closed my eyes and felt the sunshine meander across my face. I opened my eyes to see the lush green around me, the golden edges of each blade of grass in our backyard speckle our lawn, and I appreciated the way the oppressive heat seemed to lift as the day sank into the evening. Clay has been traveling for work every month for the past couple months now, and it always seems to remind me of what an important member of our team he is. With him gone, my favorite company is also absent, our cozy home feels too big and empty, and my hours are often filled with distant music and lots of thinking.

The last trip he took was during some of the warmest days of the season, and I found myself after a long workday eager to get home and change into something more comfortable. I took Jersey for a walk outside, leaned over the garden fence and picked a handful of lettuce, wandered through the meadow next to our land for some wildflowers, and I made my way back up to the house. I found a vase, arranged the flowers and put them on the mantle in our bedroom, and got to work on my supper. I made a lovely salad and went outside to eat it. I sat down outside, noticing the empty chairs around me and felt a small tug at my heart. Often, being alone is synonymous with feeling lonely, and sometimes that feeling of loneliness creeps into our hearts and can nag at us even when we are with others, when we are in the middle of our normal routines, and it becomes an empty place where we might ache. Loneliness is an interesting emotion, one that cannot be put into a box, or confined to the rules of one definition. Rather, the concept leans into the longing for company, for some sort of special companionship. No one is exempt from the feeling of loneliness, even those of us who are alone very rarely.

Because we have all felt that need for someone to be able to experience something with us, to see life from our perspective, to be on our side and show support, I thought I would share the reminder that became apparent to me as I spent this evening with the best company of all: The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the closest companion we could ever ask for. He lives with us, views the world through our eyes, trains us to look for God in every moment, and reminds us that we are so very loved. We might feel lonely sometimes, but that is because we forgot that we have a friend with us at all times, shaping the way we think, the things we say, the moments in which we grow. I have come to realize that nothing in God's world is a coincidence. The flowers that I found blooming, the way I could just barely reach the lettuce without having to fight the garden fence, the breeze that made me feel relief from the heat. As I sat outside and ate my homemade salad for supper, I realized that Jersey had climbed up on the chair next to me, I heard the swallows chatter as they swept across the great sky, I watched the woodpecker that calls our backyard home visit the suet that was merely a few feet from my chair, and the red-winged blackbird flicked its tail as it called out and ate some birdseed from the feeder in the yard. I was not alone, I was just not letting the Holy Spirit guide me to see what I needed to see, to hear what I needed to hear, to feel what I needed to feel.

God does this with all of us. He sprinkles intentional blessings around us all the time, and He gave us the companionship of the Holy Spirit so that we can recognize and appreciate those blessings. John 14:15-17 speaks to us about the gift of the Holy Spirit: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. You know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you." Here we can remember that the Holy Spirit is with us forever. In this way, when we feel lonely, or we find that we are really in need of someone to go with us when we do things we don't want to do, we can look for the Holy Spirit within ourselves. He will strengthen us, protect us, guide us, and more, so that we are never alone.

What happens when we lean into the Holy Spirit? We find that loneliness dissipating, and a giddy feeling of contentment replacing it. Friendships here on earth come and go, they can hurt us and betray us. However, when we depend on the companionship of the Holy Spirit, rather than that of those around us, we find that our most valuable earthly relationships are stronger and we no longer live for others, but for God. 2 Corinthians 3:17 tells us "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." Freedom. We all long for freedom. Freedom from our responsibilities, our demons, our finances, etc. We are eager to find freedom when we feel trapped by loneliness, when we feel isolated in our own experiences, when we see the light at the end of the tunnel but it never seems to come. This verse reminds us that freedom is found in the Holy Spirit. The best part about this verse is that it is essentially saying to us that because the Holy Spirit dwells within us, freedom also dwells within us. Our souls are not kept in cages, but rather the Spirit sets us free from the shackles of loneliness, the defeat of hopelessness, the frustration of our situations. When we look for the Holy Spirit's company in every room we are in, we find Him sitting there quietly, ready to show us all the loveliest things in this life and keep us hopeful for the things yet to come.

God's blessings are all around us, and sometimes it takes some time alone with Him to be able to see them. I was shocked by the symphony of His world around me, keeping me company, reminding me that I was not alone. The Holy Spirit is always with us, which gives us the strength and support of God in every situation. John 16:13-15 reads "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you." This verse links the importance of the Holy Spirit finding a home within our hearts and the ability to find God when we look for Him. Without the Holy Spirit, we would not know what to look for, where to look, and when. But with His loving guidance, He points out all the blessings around us that God has given to show He is near to us in all times and in all places. Nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God, and because of the Holy Spirit, we know where to look in order to appreciate God's little blessings to us.

Loneliness might strike at some of the strangest times; we might find ourselves in our workplace, our classroom, on a drive, in our homes, at a party, or elsewhere. An emotion specific to us alone, we can become absorbed by that isolation, the lack of hope that comes with it, the frustration of not having control. When we feel this way, it takes but a short moment to look inward for the presence of the Holy Spirit. He is with us, and we are told in 1 Corinthians 6:19 "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own." This verse expresses to us how important we are to God. We are entrusted with the gift of the Holy Spirit, and He is always looking for our best interest in the lens of the Lord. We are never alone, never abandoned, and never without our closest companion, the Holy Spirit!