Suiting up

Personal Photo: We picked these roses on a warm day in October of 2020. We were drying the petals so they could be used as the sendoff in my wedding. I love the stark contrast of this photograph. The beautiful flowers are juxtaposed with my well-loved gardening gloves. Even when we are weary and bruised, the joy and beauty of the Lord can blossom within us. His love is protected against the world's harsh handling, and He also protects us from the weariness of living in the earth.

How is it already the end of January? I am not yet used to writing '2023' on the top of all my notebook and journal pages. Regardless, the time continues to press on and pretty soon we will find ourselves looking at the first flowers popping up! Last week, I was stopping into the grocery store to pick up a few things for supper and during my time there I found hardly a hint of a smile resting on other shoppers' faces. It occurred to me that when I met the grumbling attitudes with a burst of energy I either received a lack of emotion at all or an enthusiastic smile in return. By the end of my short trip, I was weary, ready to climb back into the car and hide away in my home until the next time I was forced to venture out. The experience got me thinking about the challenge of facing the world every day with joy.

Joy is often an elusive emotion that some people spend their entire lives trying to capture and harness. We find it hiding just beyond the next mountain, behind the disappointment and failure and embarrassment that we experience in waves, or just around the next corner in the winding path of life. In fact, it is so elusive, that we often do not realize that we might have had it for a little bit, but then it slipped through our fingers once more and we are left standing there, shells of the people we used to be when we were children, battered and bruised from living in this world, and confused as to when joy left and how to get it back. When we read my last few sentences, we might consider ourselves exempt, but when we sit back and think about our experiences, we can really see how true it is. Life has unexpected turns, we wind up in tears, and we need help to get our feet back under us. When have you felt lost, confused, or unhappy? How did we end up here? Where do we go now?

I would like to consider myself a positive person; I try to find the silver lining when I can, look at things just a little bit differently to learn something, and keep seeking ways to grow amidst uncomfortable times in my journey. However, I think one of the most challenging and sneaky thieves of joy is our weariness. It is exhausting to be joyful, it is expensive in terms of our energy, and we can quickly lean into our weariness when we are living our lives. When we become weary, we essentially render ourselves useless as warriors for Christ. The best way I can think of when we let the weight of the world beat us up is to consider that we might not have put our armor on for the day. Many times throughout the Bible the 'Armor of God' is referenced; for example, we can see in Ephesians 6:13 where we are told to "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm." I think the wording here is interesting; consider how the Bible says 'the whole armor of God.' It does not tell us to pick up only the shield or only the sword, but rather the entire thing. We are informed here that the Lord has the power to protect every piece of us, even in our weariness.

If we are being completely honest, the best time for the devil to make any traction is when we are weary; we can find ourselves with our guard down, our eyes closed, our helmets off, and all of a sudden, we are struck by surprise and stumbling backwards. When we think about this, it really emphasizes why we should make a point to suit up every day. I was talking with Clay about this topic and he brought up a good point: Our relationship with God and our dedication to His love and our faith in Him is not something we can simply hang on a hook when we want a day off. No, the ways in which our faith impacts our souls are growing by the day, by the hour, by the minute. The devil will not avoid trying to tempt us, just because we failed to wear the armor of God one day. He does not respect our weariness and leave us alone. We are told in Ephesians 6:17-18 to "Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace." In this way, we can see the ways that we can fight not only the devil, but our own weariness. When we go out into the world and see little remnants of joy in the people around us, it can be challenging to keep our own energy up, our light shining, and our feet firmly planted on the ground. However, because we have the armor of God, and understand exactly what that means for us, we can remain unswayed by the earthly exhaustion we meet and wrestle with every day.

Weariness, for me this past week, really caused me to lose myself in the chaos; I lost confidence, doubted every little thing, and began to feel unworthy. For some reason, exhaustion often goes hand in hand with self-doubt. I had a presentation in front of our entire sales and marketing team, an announcement in front of our preconstruction team, a speech in front of a course I am taking, and more. I began to feel weary, just from putting myself out there. There was a moment where I had to slow down, I had to make sure I had put on the armor of God, and remind myself that "If God is for me, then who can be against me?" (Romans 8:31). This one verse put my feet back under me, it helped me focus on God and not on the chaos of my schedule. I forgot how uncomfortable I was, how exhausted I was of putting myself in front of others to be judged, and how challenging being around others can be. Instead, I was able to put the entire situation into perspective; I was not being kind to impress others, I was not putting myself out there to seek approval from my coworkers and peers, I was not smiling at other people because it was expected of me. Rather, I am kind because Jesus is kind, I put myself out there because no one here can damage the love and the faith that call my soul home, and I smile because I am saved by the grace and mercy of our Lord and Savior. When we approach everything like this, we keep exhaustion at bay, we find ourselves with more energy, that we are less impacted by the people and the attitudes around us, and we find that even if someone does shake us up, it doesn't steal our joy and it doesn't penetrate the armor of the Lord.

Proverbs 30:5 tells us that "Every word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him." When considering what it means to put on the armor of God and defeat the evils around us, this verse really drives home that the armor of God is not only the aforementioned righteousness, truth, and readiness given by the Gospel of peace, but that God is there with us. God is the armor. He is the Protector. To know this only further enforces that no one, absolutely no one, can penetrate the armor of the Lord when we are wearing it. Our joy, love, and light, when rooted in the foundation of Christ is untouchable by the weariness we are so used to experiencing in an earthly way. Yes, we may become exhausted, we may struggle with challenges and obstacles, and we may find ourselves putting down the armor of God because we are trying to handle it and carry it all alone. However, as soon as we pick the armor of God back up, we can realize that we have no more room to carry our burdens by ourselves. We find ourselves leaving them at the feet of Christ, leaving with His grace, His light, His love, and letting Him work out our burdens, stresses, and weariness.

Every morning before school, beginning in elementary years, my mom would remind me to put on the armor of God. She knew she could not be at the playground to protect me from bullies, she could not be in the classroom when someone was teasing me, she could not help me when I needed immediate guidance, but she was telling me where to get my strength. God is with us all the time and He protects us from anything and everything trying to penetrate our armor. When we begin to wear down, when we find ourselves putting more stock in other people's attitudes, opinions, and actions, we can remind ourselves that no one can be against us, with God on our side, no one can put a chink in the armor that we wear, and we need acceptance and approval from no one other than our Heavenly Father. When we suit up, we are unstoppable; weariness holds no power over us, we find joy blossoming in us, and we spread the light of His love to those around us.