Preparing us

Personal Photo: Clay and I purchased these tiny socks on the day we found out we were expecting a boy. While there are many seasons of change and growth to be had throughout a lifetime, starting a family has been one that is simply a rollercoaster of emotions and reactions. I have had some of the greatest support and some of the most shocking reactions and advice from near-strangers. It is already the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I learn something new every single day. God is so good to bless us with this little one, and I am grateful for the chance to grow stronger for this child!

I felt the cool water rush through my fingertips, reminding me to focus on something other than my burning cheeks. I felt worn thin, my usual social mask dropping to reveal my exhausted eyes, my bruised feelings, and my desire to go home and curl on the couch to hide from the world for a little while. I don't spend a lot of time hiding in the bathroom at my workplace, but today I caught my own eye. My deep blue eyes held my gaze and I looked for something, I searched for the reason why I had to feel this way, the explanation somewhere through my pupils, I was sure.

While I usually love my job, when the news that I was going to leave my full-time job in order to focus on my growing family started to spread from one coworker to the next, I became the recipient of some very brash reactions. While I likely needed the reminder that businesses are full of coworkers more so than friends, I felt betrayed and guilty. I was ashamed that I felt guilty for my choice to become a stay-at-home mom, something that has forever been a goal of mine, but after another full day of unsolicited advice, hurtful comments thrown at me, and opinions that left me rather speechless, I felt the urge to cry creep back up my neck.

I took a few more minutes in the bathroom, determined not to let anyone see the crack in my armor, the way that I let them hurt me. As I stared into the mirror, willing my glassy eyes and red nose to settle down, I felt the calm placement of an invisible hand on my shoulder and I was hit with the sudden realization that I was getting stronger. Something that might seem so obvious was impossible for me to see without the Holy Spirit intervening and with the few simple words, it became clear that while I do not know the entire reason why, the simple fact that I was getting stronger was enough of a motivator to take back my own power in the situation. I needed it, I soaked it in, I went back to my desk and wrote it on a sticky note and placed it under my mousepad.

I share this story because hard times find us all, emotions sneak up on us in inconvenient places and at inconvenient times. We find ourselves thinking and overthinking, guilty for things we shouldn't feel guilty for, and angry that we let our defense down for the wrong people. We have uncertain futures that scare us, moments of instability, and leaps of faith to take. Along the way, we have growing pains, ones that can leave us confused and frustrated. We find ourselves wondering why we needed to go through it, why we hurt so badly when we should just let it go, and how to prepare for what is to come. Regardless of what you are going through, the things that you fear lurk in the darkness beyond our vision, and the hurt we might be feeling, we can remember that we are becoming stronger because of our experiences.

We are stronger for the hardships, the struggles, the hurt we go through, all because God is with us. He promises to us that we will not fail with Him by our side, and therefore we can endure whatever the world and the devil try to throw at us. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 tells us "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." I find these verses so intriguing, mainly because they express to us the importance of creating more room within ourselves for God and less room for our own sinful flesh. In this way, we depend on God to guide us when we are lost, to strengthen us when we are weak, and to comfort us when we feel betrayed. God reminds us that grace is all that we need, which removes the power from the world and puts it in the hands of Jesus Christ, who generously gives that grace to us. All of a sudden, we find ourselves stronger when we lean into the strength of God, rather than our own, and we find relief from the constant attacks from the world.

The future is an uncertain place that we might find a bit intimidating. The future is full of change, and we can experience some of the most intense kindness and some of the most disappointing moments during those in-between chapters of life. When we are navigating those uncharted waters of tomorrow-turned-into-today, we can begin to feel rather isolated in places that used to feel comfortable. Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us to "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." I recently read a book that explained that God does not send you where He has not already been, and I think it goes hand in hand with this verse from Deuteronomy (Max Lucado, They Walked with Him). Not only does God go with us, but He prepares us for what we need to experience so that we can grow into better children of His. Nothing we encounter is too much for us because God is already aware of what we will go through and is with us to help strengthen us every step of the way.

I titled this article 'Preparing us' because we must grow in order to prepare for what is to come. We experience hardships and struggle with leaps of faith to be better prepared for the next chapter in life. We might touch the lives of new people, learn new ways to communicate the amazing grace of God, learn new strengths of ours, and harness skills we did not know we had all because of our periods of growth. In this way, growing does not come without preparation for what is next. 2 Timothy 1:7 explains that we are ready for these moments of growth, as long as we lean into God: "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." Here we are once again reminded that our power comes not from the world, and therefore it cannot be taken away by the world. We are powerful, we are strong, because God is both of those things and He is with us all the time, in every situation.

It can be challenging enough to go through seasons of growth, but when we are hit with changes, reactions, and additional stresses, we can often wonder why it has to be so complicated to get from one place in life to another. When we struggle with understanding why, we can remember that we are becoming stronger because of it, and therefore we are better prepared for what is to come. Our strength is increasing because we can lean into the power of God, depend on His guidance, and give Him more room in our lives. We can decrease so that He can increase, and therefore we are better children of His. God is preparing us to be better warriors for His kingdom, which makes us very powerful when we encounter the world and the devil. No one can take away the power of the Lord from us, which strengthens us in all places and at all times!