More than a season

Personal Photo: Clay surprised me with these lovely flowers a few weeks ago. I couldn't help but think about how cold it is outside and how much warmer our home is because of these beauties. God's love for us is more intricate than the petals on these carnations, more soothing than the soft fragrance of these lillies, and more timeless than the pine seen here.

I'm seventeen, my senior year of high school has not yet begun, and I am sitting in the cafeteria with the rest of the class of 2017 participating in a class-wide day full of activities. We were put into groups and as the room shuffled around, I made eye contact with my best friend of eleven years. And she looked right through me. She was with another long-term friend of mine, but that friendship fizzled out when she blamed me for spreading a rumor about her, that I never did. She didn't believe me. I felt invisible to them as they looked at me and walked right by. I knew in that moment that it had all shifted out of my hands, that the three of us were not the three of us anymore.

Fast forward two years and Clay had proposed to me just a short six months ago. I was getting ready for work, wondering why my close friend had suddenly put so much distance between us. We talked every single day for over two years, and I truly considered him my best friend. Randomly, he stopped answering texts, he avoided our conversation, and he left me no explanation or response. Right before I left for work, I finally asked him why, and hours later he told me it was better that we didn't talk anymore, because I was going to get married. I tried to ask him more questions, tried to talk through it with him. I was confused, I was hurt, and I was left on read.

Last week I found out one of my brother's friends, someone I had always considered family, unfriended us all on social media, cut us out of his life. I was so young when I met him, maybe nine years old, and he had come to some of my races, celebrated graduations and confirmation, and was an invitation I wrote out when I got married. We were left with questions, disappointed with the abrupt removal.

Forever friendships have always been a challenge for me to believe in, as my life has been scattered with people that told me they cared, that made me trust in the potential of longevity, and then walked away, left me there empty-handed and broken-hearted. People tell me that there are those in our lives for a reason or a season, that not everyone is meant to stay forever, that sometimes people need to leave for reasons beyond my understanding. I learned to build a wall up with those outside of my tight circle of those I know won't abandon me, and I think we can often carry the burden of asking why even when we don't deserve it. Time has gone by and when I think about those relationships, those people that knew me so well, my heart still aches. The wound doesn't go away as quickly as they did, and I find myself sometimes yearning for the time with them that was simple, reliable, peaceful.

This saying, this idea of people being in our lives for either a reason or a season, reminded me of another saying we hear often during December. This is Christmastime, and we are so often told that Jesus is the reason for the season. While both sayings are true, I can't help but feel that in both cases, it is so much more than a season. Jesus is the reason for all of it, for everything we find joy in, the life in every single day. I think we all need the reminder that it is always more than a period of time, that we can be grateful that Jesus doesn't consider our relationship with Him just a season, that we never have to carry a burden of worry when we invest in a relationship with Jesus. People may leave us hurting, walk away and blame us for something we never did, cause us to ache with frustration and a lack of closure, but Jesus never does. God is always right there, ready to listen, no matter the time of year or the time of day. In fact, this promise is scattered all over the Bible, reinforcing how God is always with us; Joshua 1:9 reads "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." God's presence provides comfort and stability in a life full of twists and turns.

The reality of people drifting in and out of our lives is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be frustrating when it is one-sided. In this way, we can realize the importance of not being that person in our relationship with God. He is always loving us, always putting the effort to meet us more than halfway, and it is up to us to make sure He is not a stranger in our lives. His consistency helps create stability for us, and we can build a relationship with Him that is built with time, loyalty, and trust. Isaiah 41:10 reminds us that "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." This verse expresses how God being with us, His companionship, brings to us strength to overcome anything in this world. It is not only comforting to have intimacy with the Lord, but it also empowers us. The pain of abandonment, the frustration of not getting closure, the sadness of the end of a friendship, are all weights that we often carry, ones that might seem heavier during the holiday season for some. However, with the Lord, we are investing in a relationship that will never crumble, one that will only strengthen us and give us the courage to stand up on our own.

The seasons may come and go, and people may drift in and out of our lives as we grow, but the love of God, the companionship of the Holy Spirit, the saving Grace of the Almighty Lord, are all things that withstand the test of time. More than just a time of year, a chapter in our stories, God is the author of every line in our book of life, and when we listen to Him, put forth an effort to be the best child of His that we can, we find ourselves empowered and inspired. Isaiah 40:8 tells us that "The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever." Forever, my friends. God's love for us, His yearning for a friendship with us, they are so much more than a season. He will never walk away from us, never abandon us and leave us wondering why. No, He is with us all the time, even when we are struggling with those we encounter in this lifetime. We can always count on the Lord to be our friend, to listen closely, and to love us so dearly we cannot even comprehend it.

While it is true that there are relationships we develop and ones we grow out of in different periods of our lives, I find it challenging when someone just walks away, leaving our voices snuffed and our minds quite confused. Jesus is the one relationship that we can count on, the one everlasting voice that we can depend on, and the companionship that strengthens us and protects us as we navigate one year to the next. So much more than a season, the Lord is our personal friend, and we have the beautiful gift of intimacy with Him!