It's worth the wait

Personal Photo: Snail in Tennessee, May of 2022; Snails are masters at waiting and patience :)

Clay and I bought a house! It has been a busy, busy week here at the Deppen's, as we have been packing up all of our things from the villa we currently live in and moving them to our new home, about a half an hour away. This home is an absolute dream of ours, as it has almost three acres of land, a lot of potential, and tons of character with large bay windows, tall Victorian ceilings, and hardwood floors. We are exhausted, but excited, as we work hard to turn this house into our home. My family has been incredibly supportive and my parents have been wildly helpful as we embark on this new journey. And while we are grateful to be at this point, during our move so far we have taken some time to look back at the house-buying experience only to realize that it was not exactly the smoothest ride.

We loved our villa, but it had no space to spread out, our neighbor's dog was very loud, and we wanted to be outside during the summertime but had no privacy. We began to look for a house in April, but the market was so competitive, that we were outbid numerous times and we struggled to find a place that fit our needs and was listed long enough to go see it. It truly was a bit disheartening to consider giving up or pausing on something we were really investing ourselves in. We had decided to stop looking for awhile, but Clay continued to get on Realtor, until he showed me a white Victorian farmhouse in a small town, not too far away. We visited and put in an offer. We accepted a counter offer and we began the process of actually buying the house. What should have been smooth sailing from there, turned into a waiting game. Underwriting took a month, the appraisal took three weeks, we had to extend the closing date an entire month later than originally scheduled, and we began to worry if we were not meant to have the house. There were weeks where we had no idea what was going on, people were not answering more than one email from us per day, and I was beginning to think that we had wasted two months on a house that was never meant to be ours. It was a hard pill to try and swallow. Thankfully, we just had to wait it out and we eventually got the green light to sign and buy.

I share this part of my life with you all because I really had to wrestle with my doubts throughout the process. What should have been a 30 day closing sale, took over twice as long, which forced me to rely on the fact that God is at the helm and in control. It was so far out of my control, I was dependent upon my faith in God's will; it really was the only way to keep my morale up while we waited. The experience caused me to consider how many times we are forced to wait, made to pause a certain part of our lives while other parts go on, and have to manage the impatience we all feel as we sort our way through these moments. Our faith plays a big role every time we wait. We have all experienced it in one form or another. We interview for a job and have to wait, we try out for the team and have to wait, we took a test and have to wait, we ordered a package and have to wait, we apply to our dream college and have to wait, we propose marriage and have to wait until the wedding day, and so on. Waiting is woven throughout life, as we make choices, formulate dreams, and take leaps of faith into the future. However, how we respond to waiting is really dependent upon how strong we rely on our faith.

It really would not be such a big deal if our hearts weren't invested, right? We care about all the things I mentioned above, so it makes the waiting part difficult. Our patience slips so easily through our fingers and we find out how shaky our faith can be. It was definitely the case for me. The only way to keep myself from stressing and obsessing was to remind myself that God already has the best plan for us, whether it involves this house or not. When we care about the outcome, when we want to know right now, we find that we are checking our watches constantly. Having to be patient for something out of our control makes it almost unbearable, yet when we allow our faith to grow and we do not worry over things we cannot manage, we find that it goes a bit smoother. We are told in Lamentations 3:25, to "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." We eventually get there. We get the interview results, we find out if we made the team, we get our grade back. And while it might not always be the answer we wanted, it at least allows that paused part of our lives move on from that moment and begin to look for the next thing. It brings back into focus what we are looking for, what we can do, what our next step could be. My point is that the end result, the end outcome, is always worth the wait.

Like I said above, waiting for an answer does not mean that we like the answer we end up with. In fact, we often forget that God sometimes answers our prayers with a loving 'No.' However, it is worth the wait because then we can move on and press play. Waiting can encourage us to doubt, but when we remove our feet from the sticky quicksand that sucks us into hopelessness and confusion and plant them firmly on the grounds of faith, we find that we can manage the waiting and the answer. We can use our time waiting effectively and can eventually get to a solid answer, which makes it worth it, regardless of what the answer is.

Now that I have set the stage for how waiting can feel like forever when we are trying to get an answer, get to an end goal, get to the next step, I want to consider the sticky quicksand as our time here on earth and the temptation to abandon our faith in God. I want to consider what it will be like when Jesus comes back. I want to consider how magical it will be when we stop focusing on our doubts during the waiting part and start focusing on the faith we have in Christ and what we gain when we are finished waiting.

Truly, while we are here on earth, we are waiting to get to Heaven. We are waiting on Jesus to come back. We are waiting to shed the earthly layers and claim the gift of Eternal Life with the Father. Sometimes we can find ourselves longing to meet our Maker, leaving behind all the struggles of this life, and wanting some type of relief when there are so many burdens that we carry around. We find ourselves reading the news and wishing that Jesus would return to put an end to all the sadness, destruction, and evils. We are stuck trying to get to the next step, but we cannot do it because it is out of our control and we have to submit to that knowledge. We can find ourselves doubting our faith in God's plan, like the time will never come and there will never be relief. However, when we continue to remind ourselves of what we are waiting for, Psalm 130:5-6 can resonate with us: "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning." Waiting tests our faith, but when our faith is firmly rooted, we find that waiting can be bearable. It can be difficult to rely blindly on our faith during times of doubt and distress, but God promises us that it will be worth the wait.

Why do we wait? Why can't we skip to the good part and cut out all the sin and evils and just go straight to Him? Well, we wait because we have jobs to do, we have vessels to be, we have souls to impact. God does not make us wait for nothing, He makes us wait so we can make an impact on other people and give glory to His name. My whole point is that waiting goes hand in hand with hope and faith. Waiting makes our faith stronger, which in turn helps us make the most of our time while we wait. Therefore, it once again solidifies that waiting for Heaven is worth it, and we will make it there in time to celebrate God forever. In the same way, it is worth waiting for Jesus because He is coming back for us. He could come any day. He is coming back to judge both the living and the dead and not giving up on our hope and our trust in His promises is important in remaining patient and alert. Habakkuk tells us "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." The timeline of life is build on God's hand and we must remain strong in our faith while we wait. It will make us better children of God, it will make our missions here on earth more conquerable, and it will create inside of us a fire that burns for God, built upon and sustained through His grace, mercy, and peace.

I think we tend to focus a lot on our time here on earth because it is the moment we are in. We focus on the waiting part, but how often do we really consider how sweet Heaven will be, how incredible it will be when Jesus returns, how our faith is rewarded when we are welcomed Home? Our faith reminds us of what we are waiting for and James 5:7 uses a good analogy for this: "Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains." Faith in God's greater plan gives us the virtue of patience. It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the waiting part. We can find ourselves lost and misunderstood, exhausted and sad. When this happens, we forget what we are waiting for, we forget how important it is that we spend our waiting time doing God's work, and we forget that it will be worth the wait. We must find a way to rely on our faith during this time, and depend upon the strength of the Lord. This is addressed in Isaiah 40:31, when we are told that "those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." God strengthens us while we wait for His plan to unfold and our faith in Him reminds us that waiting for the Lord is always worth it.