Glitter in the gritty

Personal Photo: Here is me and my beautiful Mom :) She is my best friend!

Welcome to Christmas season, my friends! Now that all the turkey dishes, fall wreathes, and Thanksgiving leftovers have all been cleaned up, put away, and finished, we can really get into the holiday spirit, bust out our candy canes and Santa hats, and get to wrapping gifts. It really is an exciting time of the year, and one that I particularly look forward to each year. With that being said, there have been numerous times within the past couple weeks where I had to change my perspective in order to really appreciate the season. I am still trying to adjust to a new job and exhausted from feeling inadequate in the industry, I am falling behind on house chores that need to be maintained, our pup Jersey got spayed and she needs patience and extra energy while she heals, and so on. To be honest, the welcome into the most wonderful time of the year was one that felt half-hearted for me at the beginning, and I struggled to put aside my frustrations and exhaustions. So much so that more than one day passed where I did not feel like myself, I was closer to tears than to a smile, and I felt small and unsure.

After an evening at my mom and dad's, it occurred to me that part of why I was struggling was because I was missing time with them. I missed doing the day-to-day things with my mom, the opportunities to jump in and help, the memories that were so readily at hand to be made, and more. My time was quickly eaten up by work and food prep and pet maintenance and house to-dos and the forty-minute drive from me to her felt longer than it really was. I hardly got to the things that needed to be done, let alone to the things that I wanted to do. We spent an evening at home and for the first time in a few weeks, we had the chance to take our time and enjoy it. We caught up on things and talked through our frustrations. Really, the evening changed my perspective. My parents were feeling the same way as I was; they were trying to plan for Christmas, coordinate three kids' families, get shopping for the holidays underway, clean up from hosting Thanksgiving, and so much more. Yet, my mom was always ready at the drop of a hat to pick up the phone and talk with me through my own emotional hiccups. She demonstrated positivity when she did not have to. I am grateful for them, their giving spirits, their kindness and understanding.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, I am truly being open about how I failed to find joy amidst the frustrations because I am aware that Christmas can be a very challenging time of year for many. I think as people, we often can get sucked up, any time of year, into our own emotional labyrinth, fighting to feel like ourselves again while the expectations have become heavy on our shoulders with no chance for rest. While Christmas is often a favorite among the holidays, it has become increasingly apparent that the marketing industry and our culture continue to put pressure onto us all to buy more, spend more, and have more stuff. Too many times we see "Xmas" instead of "Christmas," we see scowls on the chilly sidewalks, and we can find ourselves beat down by the rat race that we are all part of. As a Christian, it can be really difficult to remain positive. The truth is that life is hard enough, and the holiday season can sometimes amplify the stress and emotional turmoil that we experience.

This is why I shared my story about exhaustion. My mom had helped me see a different perspective of my situation. She put herself in my shoes so that I did not feel alone, she immediately was on my side with a supportive response, and she gave me the time to feel frustrated. She was considerate. When Mom mentioned the word 'considerate,' it stuck to my brain like it had been glued there. It really is the missing piece for so many of us, not just during the holidays, but all year round. And while the Christmas season can multiply feelings of stress, if we remain considerate of others, we really might find a way through our own emotional exhaustion and be able to focus on the true celebration of Christmas. Empathy can really go a long way.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." This is directly about empathy towards others. This is what so many of us need when we are struggling. Being considerate, especially this time of year, functions as a way for us to demonstrate God's love and for us to make a difference in someone else's life. So often, all we need is the reassurance that we are not alone and that we can make it through whatever season of life we are in. Changes, adjustments, and feelings challenge us all. When we come across someone else who might be struggling, empathy can help bridge the gap and open the door for connection. When we put ourselves in someone else's shoes, we are doing just what the above Bible verse tells us to do; we are building someone else up. Truly, we never know the impact our empathy and consideration might have on others and how it could completely change a person's entire perspective on life.

Jesus is with us always, but it can sometimes be difficult to see Him when we are so focused on our daily struggles. In this way, we have a chance to demonstrate God's love through our own actions. And when we practice empathy towards others, are considerate of what other people might be going through and seek to be kind as often as we can, we might be able to help others find Jesus in their own lives. Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Here we can see that God wants us to be like Him, to choose His love over anything, and to represent Him when we are with others. When we demonstrate being considerate, we can therefore give more glory to God, be a light for people who need the reminder that God is with them, and we are making a difference by doing God's work.

I think it is very important as Christmas approaches, to remember Jesus amidst the busyness we are all experiencing. I entitled this article 'Glitter in the gritty,' because not only do we have a chance to look for the ways in which God is with us through every season of life and through every breaking point of exhaustion, but also because we have the chance to be that bright piece of stability for someone else who is feeling a bit off balance. We all get knocked off balance every now and then, but when we take a moment in our frustration to recognize when someone is putting themselves in our shoes and being considerate of our feelings, it is truly inspiring. We can find a bit of a perspective shift, one that makes us think of someone else and what they might be going through. In this way, when we practice our empathy, we heal ourselves and our own struggles by supporting and considering others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 reminds us "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." Here the Bible is telling us that because we are saved, heard, and loved by God, we can therefore listen and love others. We carry the love and empathy that God has for us and share it with others.

I spent a bit of this article expressing how difficult the holidays can be, how challenging the stress becomes, and more, but I want to take a moment now to focus on why we can remain joyful, especially during the Christmas season, throughout the blustery weather, and amidst the scowling faces that we encounter. Yes, people can struggle during this time of year, for a number of reasons, which can certainly be a strong motivator as to why we should really practice empathy towards others. However, Christmas is still a joyful season, outside of the pressures of society, the struggles of grief, and the other things that weigh heavier on a heart this time of year. Christmas is a reminder to us all that Jesus was born. We have a Savior, One that loves us, One that came to earth to die for us. Jesus's birth was the turning point in all of Christianity and His birth represented God demonstrating His empathy for us. John 3:16 comes to mind: "For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." If God did not consider us, did not love us, did not have empathy on us as sinners, we would have no chance to get into Heaven. The bottom line is that we live because Jesus died. And Christmas celebrates the birth of our Savior, the joy of hope, the relief of God's empathy on us. We carry that hope, joy, and relief with us every single day. We have the chance to share all of those things with others by being considerate of them. Just like my mom did with me, we can listen to others, be there when they need us, support them throughout their frustrations, and represent Jesus and His light through actions of love.

Yes, we may become weary during Christmas, but the overwhelming excitement that we can share in the joy of Christ's birth overpowers any reason I can think of that could overshadow such an event. In this way, being empathetic towards others, considering other people's potential struggles, and finding ways to give all come a bit easier, with a bit more enthusiasm, and with the light of God shining from them. We do things for others because God does do much for us; we are empathetic towards others because God is empathetic towards us; we demonstrate joy among the daily grit we find ourselves in because God lives within us, He loves us, and we represent Him in the way we act, the things we do, and the way we carry ourselves. While we approach this holiday season, I am positive that we can make an impact by practicing empathy towards others, remembering how God was and is empathetic towards us, and how we have the chance to spread God's light and joy to others we encounter.